Every time I express gratitude to my little sister, I get choked up. To me, she was and is everything.
She was a triple blessing in my life. It breaks my heart that I failed to understand her.
I was going to lose my sister forever on three occasions.
During her first day of life, I truly believed I was going to lose her when she fell off the bed.
A gas leak nearly killed her a second time. The third time, I was about to lose her due to a decision she made and a decision I had to take.
In the previous two instances, I was not in control of her destiny. On this third occasion, I had to decide whether to leave her forever. This thought tears me up.
She ‘rebelled’ against me and stood by her choice, and I couldn’t accept it. It was forced upon me to abandon my own sister. How could I do it - ‘I love her so much’? But then how could my sister rebel? I was confused. I didn’t have an identity since I was surrounded by narcissistic and socially pleasing people. Reflecting on what was really happening in this turmoil, I realized I could not see beyond these false benchmarks of pride and prejudice. I had to correct my flaws.
Without getting into specifics, let me simply say that when a person stands up for something they believe in, back them up. Don’t impose your false faith and beliefs. Trust them; they need you - they look up to you. Do not make it a showdown of your supremacy and mindless ego play.
As I questioned every belief, I got past social taboos and accepted my sister as she was. Years have passed since that storm, and now our bond is stronger than ever. That’s the lesson here - never take your relationships for granted, especially the ones you have with your siblings.
Make an effort to understand them - love them, support them - let them BE.